How Will I Know?

How do I know that I’m doing the right thing? How do I know that living in this house, with these girls, was the right thing to do? How do I know I’m doing the right university course? How do I know the right thing to do is not to pursue anything more with a certain guy? How do I know letting my writing slide over the summer was for the best? How do I know I’m not going to regret everything I do right now in five, ten, twenty years?

The thing is, I don’t. I don’t know that what I’m doing is the right thing to do. I know that right now it feels like it is and that’s all I can go with. And I just have to try and live a life that doesn’t bank on regrets. I don’t want to regret things; I want to look back and think that even if something maybe wasn’t the right thing that it shaped me in some way. Of course, ideally I would look back and think “thank God I made that choice, it was so right” but we cannot have everything in life.

So for now I’ll just have to live with my decisions and try to stop questioning every little thing! Because as they say: if it feels right, do it. Or something along those lines…?


5 Things That Make No Sense To Me

I love a list. I have notebooks all over the place filled with lists of what I need to do, what I want to do, what I need to see. I have lists in progress and completed lists. I’m currently making a list of everything I need to do before leaving my student halls. Right now though, I want to list things that don’t make any sense (to me, anyway).

Excessive hashtagging. I use hashtags, on instagram and from time to time on twitter. I get what they’re for and blah blah blah; I don’t have a problem with hashtags as a whole. I just don’t understand people who post a picture of themselves and hashtag it as so: #me #myself #i #girl #selfie #person #woman #[insert own name here]  #picture #photo #hat #dress #shoe #sock #bra #knickers. You get the idea. Another thing that makes no sense where hashtags are concerned is this: you post a picture of you and your best friend, it’s very nice. You add hashtags, because why wouldn’t you? But they go something like this: #best #friend #love #you #friends #forever. Now to me, that misses the point of hashtagging. Surely it should be #bestfriend #loveyou #friendsforever? Am I missing something here?  Where will the madness end?

Being mean to people who are only trying to help you. Possibly my biggest pet peeve, because it makes absolutely no sense to me, I can barely understand the mentality of it. Oh, you don’t like your food? Well yeah, attack the waiter because they were the ones who cooked it, not the ones who simply brought it to you. Oh, you’re having a bad day? Obviously it’s the nice sales assistant’s fault who’s only trying to help you, please continue to shout at them.

Spencer MatthewsFrom Made in Chelsea. If you don’t know what it is, it’s a TV show that follows the lives of some rich people and it’s the most awkward show I’ve ever watched, and I only watch it from time to time. Anyway, my brother loves Spencer and I’m sure there are other people out there who do too but I do not get it at all. He went on holiday with I think 3 of his exes and the girl he was currently seeing (which is insane in the first place) and he ended up sleeping with one of his exes. Not the girl he’d brought with him, a girl who he’d previously treated like shit and who apparently “hated him”. Right there on the holiday! This is one of many reasons he makes no sense to me and I will continue to be baffled by him probably forever.

Why people say they wish they had hair like mine. Trust me, you don’t. Yeah it’s occasionally fabulously wavy. But mainly it’s thick and it’s frizzy and I only brush it before and after it’s washed (to keep the occasional waves the rest of the time) so it’s usually knotty.  And sure, maybe if you had my hair you wouldn’t be as lazy as I am and would do something like straighten it every day so it looked good always. But guess what? Doing that every day would mean you don’t actually want this hair, you want luscious straight locks that don’t look so thick.

People who ditch their friends as soon as they get a boyfriend/girlfriend. This literally makes zero sense to me, I can’t get my head around what must go through their minds? I lost my very best friend because of this. I mean, it can’t be blamed solely on this but it was a very big contributor. She never had much time for me when she had a boyfriend but she got together with this one in particular at a time where our lives were going in different directions and it was worse than before. Even almost 3 years later it breaks my heart thinking about it because I genuinely thought we would be friends, if not forever then certainly for a long, long time. This girl was my soulmate and now the only interactions we have are generic texted happy birthdays, merry christmases and happy new years. We had other problems in our friendship yeah, but I genuinely believe we could’ve at least tried to sort them out. But it just got too hard for me to keep trying to make the effort to see her, so I had to let it go.

There are many, many (many) other things that don’t make any sense but it could just turn into a rant and I need to finish packing up my room so I’ll leave it at these!


What Are Humans All About?

When I thought about what I’d use if asked to explain what humans are all about, using a book, film or song, one immediately came to mind. Love, Actually.

Now I know that it isn’t a particular deep or profound film, and it doesn’t delve into the complex actions and reasoning of human beings. But, to me anyway, the moral of this film is what humans are all about. All over the world and in so many different ways, people can be brought together by love. Whether it’s a childhood crush, falling in love at work, falling in love despite a barrier (language or otherwise), the love between friends, you can find love anywhere you look. It’s what keeps people going, it’s what makes us human. This film warms my heart and makes me believe in love, of any kind.

At the end of the day, as horrible and awful as humans are capable of being, (and in the least cheesiest way possible because this is one of my favourite scenes/quotes ever) I do believe that love actually is all around. I have to believe that the good will always continue to outweigh the bad.

Fast food

Living in student halls this year my flat is home to some “typical” gross, unclean students. Not all of them, but it still leaves the kitchen disgusting enough that thought of staying in there longer than the time it takes to heat up a ready meal is pretty off-putting. Add to this that I am not good at cooking and you’ve not quite got a recipe for culinary joy! So this is my thank you to all the easy to make food that may not be good for me but it helps me keep my kitchen time to a minimum.

My top ten quick foods 

10. Pesto pasta salad – available at any supermarket that knows what it’s doing and already made. Just add a fork. Or a spoon, whatever you’re into

9. Sandwich – a classic. Probably one I’d eat a lot more of if people would stop eating my bread

8. Filled pasta – literally takes less than 5 minutes to cook, how could this be anything but good?

7. Burrito/enchilada – my local shop (and by local I mean right on my doorstep, uh so convenient!) does burritos and enchiladas that you can cook in ~20 minutes and they are not terrible

6. Spaghetti on toast – this was originally my hangover staple, my mum put me onto it when I was feeling particularly rough one day, and now it’s managed to worm it’s way into my regular diet, and I am not complaining

5. Mac and cheese – the ready meal versions, unfortunately. I prefer one that’s properly made but this is just too easy.

4. Anything + chips (and peas if I’m feeling good) – chips: easy, peas: easy and healthy, plus it usually goes with chicken so that’s another good point. God bless chicken

3. Chicken slice – zero effort required here: go outside, go into shop (hot food section), pick up my already heated chicken slice, pay, enjoy the deliciousness

2. Pasta – oh pasta where would I be without you? So simple, so quick, and I can add what I like

1. Pizza – of course pizza was going to be number one, literally just stick it in the oven and we’re good to go, and so. many. variations. I love you, pizza.

Aware that I sound very unhealthy here but you should all know that I snack on fruit too so I’ve got that going for me. And I’m moving home for the summer in 3 weeks so I’ll be back on top in the food department!