Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget? For me, it’s a combination of the two. If anyone hurts someone in my family or my friends then you can bet five years down the line, I’ll still be holding a grudge against them. There really isn’t much I hate more than seeing the people I love in pain (physical or emotional).
When it comes to my own experiences though, it’s slightly different. Especially if it’s someone I care about that has upset me, I can never stay mad. I can rarely even let them know how I feel. Too afraid to upset the apple cart. So my friend lets me down, hurts my feelings, you’ll see me smiling away with them the next day as if nothing has happened.
I don’t forget though, I can’t. Which isn’t particularly helpful, except when it happens again I can say “Well first they did this, remember, then they did this and this and now THIS?! Really!?” And so my anger and hurt is fuelled. Fantastic.
I wouldn’t say I necessarily believe in forgive and forget because there have been several times when I wish I’d been able to call someone out on what they’ve done. Forgiveness is a funny thing though, I’m so willing to forgive someone I love even if they’ve hurt my feelings multiple times; sometimes people who I’m not sure deserve forgiveness. But some people who do deserve forgiveness may not get it. It can be difficult to put things into perspective when it’s close to home.
Forgiveness can be refreshing though; holding onto anger can eat you up inside as I’m sure we’ve all heard before! What I do believe is that sometimes forgiving and forgetting is great and definitely the right thing to do. Sometimes though, it’s not so great and holding that grudge can make you feel so much better, even if it’s not the “right” thing to do – it’s not forever, is it!